Thursday, May 9, 2013

{Pour Your Heart Out ~ In Laws}






I wish I could tolerate my mother-in-law. She's the only grandmother my son has left - and to say we don't get along would be one of the biggest understatements ~ ever.

Although she won't agree with my point of view I spent many years (about 13) trying to be the good daughter-in-law. Supporting my husband because I know she's his mother and he loves her. Enduring things like:

hearing about his old girlfriend (whom she wanted him to marry)
watching both his parents treat him like crap (and keeping my mouth shut)
being obligated to spend Christmas with them every year (even though we literally lived across the country)

And yes, the year I decided I wanted to spend Christmas with MY family (husband was gone) I started getting locked out of their lives. Or should I say we - because she's also locking out her son and grandson.

And I've never told my husband he couldn't take the boy to go visit his parents, (they live about two hours away - and the last time we saw them was about 4 years ago ~ and we went to them). what I have done is made it perfectly clear that I won't go with him. I make sure she gets flowers on Mother's Day {because I love my man!}, and even sent pictures to his sister to make a collage for his mom this year {yes, they were all sans me}, so I'm trying to walk the middle ground of being there for my husband ~ while excluding myself from his family.

And I know, I shouldn't put my husband in that spot. But I'm not making him choose {I say to myself}, I'm choosing to not be involved with someone who feels the same way about me as I do about her. I don't want to put up with the drama so I just excuse myself from it. I went full blown bitch in this post, and that's the last time his dad, mom, or sister ever spoke to me.

And if I'm being honest {which this is all about} I'm still not sorry.

Today I'm linking up with Shel at Things I Can't Say

4 comments:

  1. I think it's better to stay out of it. I don't think anything you'd do would make it better. Some people just want an excuse to be unhappy and that sounds like them.

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    1. Perfectly said (as usual).

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  2. Family relationships are so hard! I butted heads with my MIL for a long time. I'm happy to say that after 10 years of marriage, we are now friends. It was not easy though and we both had to just ignore many things because we are crazy-stubborn women. Not everyone can do that though and sometimes you have to just do what you can.

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    1. I'm so glad you made some peace with your MIL. I know I'm stubborn which is part of the problem too!

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