Crazy Fear
I honestly thought I wrote a post this year. Hmm. Yeah, I guess not! Maybe I should change my blog name to "Slacking on Planet Caddick"! I still have to order my blog book for last year too. I love having those in print to look at when I want. It's kind of fun to see the ups and downs right next to each other. Sometimes I even wonder what I was thinking!
Right now though, I'm thinking about retirement. Not mine of course, I did that 5 years ago next month. Nope, this is my husbands retirement and it's a little more frightening. I like to call it crazy fear because it had no merit (most of the time) - it's just a sudden panic of "Oh my God, what's going to happen when we have no ties with the military any more?" It includes all kinds of things, where will move (if we move), what about a job, can I move and do school at the same time? Sometimes these ideas come all at one time - sometimes they come by themselves, randomly, usually when I'm in the middle of doing something else - like teaching Zach or doing my school papers. Crazy fear.
Are there a lot of unknowns? Oh yeah. Will we survive? Yep, pretty sure we will. Will it be a completely new experience for both of us? Oh boy will it ever! Will we go to a new place or try to grow our roots more deeply here?
Ultimately the answer to all those questions is I don't know the answer. I guess that's the part that makes it exciting - and brings on the crazy fear!
Right now though, I'm thinking about retirement. Not mine of course, I did that 5 years ago next month. Nope, this is my husbands retirement and it's a little more frightening. I like to call it crazy fear because it had no merit (most of the time) - it's just a sudden panic of "Oh my God, what's going to happen when we have no ties with the military any more?" It includes all kinds of things, where will move (if we move), what about a job, can I move and do school at the same time? Sometimes these ideas come all at one time - sometimes they come by themselves, randomly, usually when I'm in the middle of doing something else - like teaching Zach or doing my school papers. Crazy fear.
Are there a lot of unknowns? Oh yeah. Will we survive? Yep, pretty sure we will. Will it be a completely new experience for both of us? Oh boy will it ever! Will we go to a new place or try to grow our roots more deeply here?
Ultimately the answer to all those questions is I don't know the answer. I guess that's the part that makes it exciting - and brings on the crazy fear!
If you find the answers, can you pass them on this way PLEASE???? It's crazy fear, crazy scary all rolled into one cluster of I don't knows!!!!
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