Thursday, March 10, 2011

~ Fork in the Road Time ~

I'm always coming to a fork in the road.  Sometimes it's an easy fork - grocery shopping today or can I hold out one more day?  Little forks (salad forks, if you will) are the easy peasy decisions that I make every day.

Paper due Monday?  I'll write it Sunday.
Truck needs gas?  I'll wait until tomorrow - as long as that silly light doesn't go on!

It's not that I'm a procrastinator, o.k. maybe it is a little but only about small things.

Big decisions I tend to make without very much thought.  When I decided to homeschool Zach I only had to convince Erik and bam!  I was doing it.  These are the decisions that should require more thought - but when I decide I want to (or am going to) do something - that's it.

This past July, in a moment of shear frustration and aggravation I sent Zach back to 'regular' school.  That journey has been somewhat chronicled here, so most of you know I'm not thrilled with the public school system.  But, I wasn't thrilled with the private school he went to either, so I don't want any of my teacher friends to think I'm bashing.  I'm not - I want to be a teacher.  I realize it's a hard job.

So, finding myself at home, with nothing to do, I decided in December to go back to school to become a teacher.  Is that not the perfect job for someone with school age kids?  I think so.  School for me has been a trial.  It's been so long since I sat in a classroom that I find it frustrating.  The kids (and yes, they are kids) chat, get up and walk out, never show up on time, well, they are basically just rude.  But I rant.....

I spent about four hours yesterday going through the summer and fall classes deciding what to take when.  But the fact is, I want to homeschool Zach again.  I could do both - I know it's possible (until the hubby deploys or whatever again), but is it fair?

For the first time in a long time, I can't come to a conclusion.  I know I could provide a better education for my son at home.  I've already proven that - the boy is bored out of his mind and has been all year.  We rather enjoyed our "loosey goosey" vacation times.  A week off for your birthday?  No problem.  Homeschooling is fun ~ and hard ~ and sometimes frustrating.  But deep down, I still feel it's the right choice.

I don't want to give up my lifelong dream (seriously - from second grade) to teach.  I don't want one semester of frustration and rude kids to define who I can become in the future.  In other words, I don't want to look like a quitter.  But, I want to do what's best for my son.

Why couldn't it just be a knife in the road, pointing me in the right direction?


Until next time ~ Kris

7 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I was a teacher before I had my kids ( I think I've already told you that...) and I quit to stay home. However, I never want to go back, but when I originally went to college, I had the intention of becoming a nurse or something in the medical field, so before I got pregnant with my son, I started nursing school at a local community college and I got extremely frustrated with that. The teachers there treated the students like Kindergarteners with the micro-managing and I went to a huge university for college, so I hated the way the whole community college treated the students. So, when I got pregnant with my son and was extremely sick, I just dropped those classes and chalked it up to "it wasn't meant to be", but I kind of wish I had stuck it out. But in another sense, I'm glad I didn't, because I probably would've never taken up photography as my new career and there is where I found my true calling in life. :)

    Anyway, my usual rule is to go with my gut instinct. It's hardly ever wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will tell you that where you are at in school right now is the worst because they are young idiots and they don’t care. They don’t have to pay the bills. They don’t realize that these grades stay with them forever. They don’t have to take life seriously. It wasn’t until I got into my actual teaching program at La Verne that I started to really love everything about school. It was hard but I loved it. My peers worked with me. We were all on the same page because we were all after the same goal. We wanted to make it to the end of that tunnel.

    I don’t know a whole lot about homeschooling. I only looked into it one time and that was when we were having all of those issues with Travin’s first kinder teacher. I know how much the public school system can suck but I also know how great it can be. These are two reasons why I keep pushing forward. It’s taking me forever but someday I will get there =]

    I am so frustrated here because I see things and I know that my kids are behind in some areas especially Travin. It scares me because I know that we won’t be here forever. If I have my way, we will be out of here before Bry finishes middle school. I shouldn’t say that it is all bad because the girls are in a good place but I am just not happy with the kindergarten standards here. Anyhow, when I read your post, the first thing that came to my mind was how amazing you are. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit and I think that you know in your heart what you want to do and what you need to do. Zach is your child and as far as I see it you are the best teacher he is ever going to have. I mean this with all of my heart!! You have gotten him so far not only in life but also with his education. He is a very smart boy and he got that because you decided to be his teacher at home. You took it upon yourself to become a teacher in your own home so that your son could have the best education out there. That my bloggy bestie is incredible!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As someone who is staring 50 in the eye, I've gone back to school this year for Urban Planning. I am in many cases older than my "classmates" parents for Pete's sake. While it's a struggle from a time point of view, but totally worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a hard decision to make. I have a lot of regrets in my life and I always think what my life could have been if I would have made one choice over another, but you can't live that way and truly be happy. I have found that if I listen to the voices in my head (not the crazy ones, but the rationale ones, pray about it and seek the Word, get all the advice I can get, I always choose which way to go and it is always the best way possible. Decisions take time :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. that is a hard choice. I am like you the little descisons are easy and quick. this is a big one. I love your header but probably because I love scouting

    ReplyDelete
  6. I will tell you that where you are at in school right now is the worst because they are young idiots and they don’t care. They don’t have to pay the bills. They don’t realize that these grades stay with them forever. They don’t have to take life seriously. It wasn’t until I got into my actual teaching program at La Verne that I started to really love everything about school. It was hard but I loved it. My peers worked with me. We were all on the same page because we were all after the same goal. We wanted to make it to the end of that tunnel.

    I don’t know a whole lot about homeschooling. I only looked into it one time and that was when we were having all of those issues with Travin’s first kinder teacher. I know how much the public school system can suck but I also know how great it can be. These are two reasons why I keep pushing forward. It’s taking me forever but someday I will get there =]

    I am so frustrated here because I see things and I know that my kids are behind in some areas especially Travin. It scares me because I know that we won’t be here forever. If I have my way, we will be out of here before Bry finishes middle school. I shouldn’t say that it is all bad because the girls are in a good place but I am just not happy with the kindergarten standards here. Anyhow, when I read your post, the first thing that came to my mind was how amazing you are. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit and I think that you know in your heart what you want to do and what you need to do. Zach is your child and as far as I see it you are the best teacher he is ever going to have. I mean this with all of my heart!! You have gotten him so far not only in life but also with his education. He is a very smart boy and he got that because you decided to be his teacher at home. You took it upon yourself to become a teacher in your own home so that your son could have the best education out there. That my bloggy bestie is incredible!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know how you feel. I was a teacher before I had my kids ( I think I've already told you that...) and I quit to stay home. However, I never want to go back, but when I originally went to college, I had the intention of becoming a nurse or something in the medical field, so before I got pregnant with my son, I started nursing school at a local community college and I got extremely frustrated with that. The teachers there treated the students like Kindergarteners with the micro-managing and I went to a huge university for college, so I hated the way the whole community college treated the students. So, when I got pregnant with my son and was extremely sick, I just dropped those classes and chalked it up to "it wasn't meant to be", but I kind of wish I had stuck it out. But in another sense, I'm glad I didn't, because I probably would've never taken up photography as my new career and there is where I found my true calling in life. :)

    Anyway, my usual rule is to go with my gut instinct. It's hardly ever wrong.

    ReplyDelete

I love your comments and I read them all. I'm not very good at replying to them though. It's one of my many downfalls. I hope you'll leave some anyway!