A Reading Advisory
Before you read this post and think "what a flaming bitch" please realize that I'm being a flaming bitch. What you are about to read is the final straw in almost 10 years of in-law bullshit that frankly, I'm tired of putting up with. It's not pretty. You can stop reading now and I will completely understand. Honestly, you probably should stop now. Ultimately, this blog is my place to think out loud and that's what this post is about. You've been warned.
The black is my husbands sisters email - the red is my response.
I havent had that number since we moved to Charleston which is going on 5 years, I even texted you from the new number and didnt get any reply. I have sent emails to everyone including you, Kris, Scott, and Shannon,when Our number had been changed, five years ago and have the messages to prove it, I even gave the information to Kris on FB chat as well, which I have also kept. plus you had the number when you guys came for Joeys birthday last year. So to be honest The phone number thing isnt working for me. It sounds like an excuse.
MY REPLY - You haven’t lived in Charleston for nearly (or going on) 5 years - we’ll have only been here 5 in July and you lived in Fountain Inn when we moved here. Second - I had your phone number so get off Erik. Really. Third - Erik was deployed when you moved to Charleston so chances are he never got the message. You know you want to blame me anyway, so blame me - I really don't care.
And as far as it costing to much to travel, how is it you can or used to be able to go to Scott and Shannons for every little thing but thats wasn't expensive? To be honest I am closer to you all, then they were mileage wise and in the 6 years that I have been in charleston you have been to my house a totally of 2 times. Once for Zach bowling tournament and Joey's last birthday.
MY REPLY - Oh, now you’ve lived in Charleston for 6 years. This is why no one believes anything you ever say. And I didn’t realize birthdays, Addison being born, and helping them get stuff ready to move was “every little thing”. I’ll make a note of that for later use. Also, you can add one more birthday party and Christmas Eve to your totals of how many times we've been there. Fact check before you rant about how neglected you are.
Do you know when the last time I was invited to your house? Christmas of 2006 I believe when Zach was sick over xmas. and I had just had my knee surgery.
MY REPLY - you were here after that - for two of Zach’s birthday parties, one in 07 and one in 08 - we’ve not had a birthday party since then so it’s not like you were the only one not invited. Also, you were here for a few days during a spring break while Erik was deployed. So again - fact check before you start accusing and presenting your warped view as actual truth.
So thats why I dont understand. I'm just saying that it makes us feels very uncomfortable for not only me, but Joey. asking why his cousin Zach, aunt Kris and uncle Erik, doesnt ever come see him but always goes to Kayla and Austins when they lived in Georgia, But that isnt expensive, you can do that but cant come see me, and I am closer.
MY REPLY - Gee, when Joey was supposed to go to GA for Addison’s first birthday he decided he wanted to stay home and ride four wheelers with Lee instead. Perhaps that will give you (and him) a little more understanding. By the way - we know you said he was sick and lied, your MOM sold you out.
So you can see how the whole picture is a little messed up. After speaking to Scott, Case in point this past christmas Scott said " that you asked them to come spend christmas with you on the way down to to see their friends in Rincon," Did you ever once think that maybe it would have been nice for us to be invited so my family and mom would be able to see them too." Cause I knowI didnt get and invite. I know they didnt come because of Scott having to work, but it was the plan and we and when I say we I mean my family and mom was never asked "hey do you guys want to stop by Christmas, Scott and his family is planning on coming " might be nice to get the family together, these are the things I am talking about,
MY REPLY - First WTF? I consider myself pretty literate, but I can’t make sense of that at all. But, since the trip didn’t happen it doesn’t matter - but really - it was not an “official” invite anyway. Families don’t generally need official invites - just a heads up - you know, usually an ‘are you busy on the 14th” kind of thing. I didn’t realize that the special group required the official invitation. Another note I’ll make for later.
Also the issue of Kris deleting not only me but mom from facebook, that was like a slap in the face to us, not to mention rude. We are supposed to be family, family doesnt do that to eachother.
MY REPLY - this is why you were deleted. All about Nancy and Elly all the freakin’ time. Bottom line, my facebook, my friends, my choice. Leave Erik out of it. Put on your big girl panties and take that up with me.
I want you to think about something, it doesnt cost anything to invite us or mom, more importantly. there is no cost involved to you for either one of us to come down for a visit. I hope and pray that you dont regret taking a small piece of your time and invite at least mom to come see you before you dont have the opportunity anymore. Because that will be something that you will regret for the rest of your life. Do you know there have been many of times that I have invited mom to my house for no reason or for the holidays because no one invited her to come to them , and have talked to her about these things and it really upsets her and makes her cry, because she feels that you dont want her to be a part of Zach's life.
MY REPLY - I’m going to ignore most of that except for two points - your mom decided LONG ago that Joey was the ‘golden’ grandchild. So her not being a part of Zach’s life was her decision almost 10 years ago. And she should cry - she now realizes she fucked up. And again - note taken on the official invitation requirement. I'm going to get the formally engraved invitations on order just for you guys.
Well you know now, I can only wish that things will change and that somehow this will work it self out. Me I can handle being the black sheep of the family, just dont think it is fair that your own mother doesnt get the chance to get to know Zach, or even is asked to come down and spend some time with him on Christmas , Holiday, spring break, or summer. She waits every year to see who will invite her for whatever hoiday, bday, or just because and she never hears anything.
MY REPLY - Funny, now that her golden one doesn’t live next door the other grandkids are important. Sorry - too little too late.
So I invite her here, because no-one else seems to care about her feelings, and I dont mind she is welcome in my house anytime, and that goes for any of my family I have always said my door in open and everyone is welcome to come, I do this because I feel it is important I want my son to know is grandparents, I want him to have those memories, not to mention I want her to be happy. I guess I have said what I needed to get off my chest.
MY REPLY - Thanks for being your families martyr. I’m sure everyone appreciates it. I'm not your family and I know I do.
I am not trying to beat you up about it, thats not my intention. I just want you to sit and think about the thiings I have written and maybe take something from it and make a change for the better, If not for me do it for MOM. Like I said you all are always welcome in my home and can stop by whenever you want.
MY REPLY - Really? Cuz it sounds like you are trying to beat him up about it. And seems like most of these things are shit you guys brought on yourself. Oh and another 'and' since all your facts are fucked up it's not as bad as you think anyway.
ONE MORE THING FROM ME - got your attention? I married Erik. He and Zach are MY family. My Dad is MY family. The kids in AZ, UT, and MO are MY family. The Olexa’s are MY family. And yes, the Ohio Caddick’s are MY family. Erik has to choose how to handle this for himself because he wears big boy pants - but I’m not going to let you dictate to ME who MY family is supposed to be. Family who act like asses get treated exactly like everyone else that acts like asses.